Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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