kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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