I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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