can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
