3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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