Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
