my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize