saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
