I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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