Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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