Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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