yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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