He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
