After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
