I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
