walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
