he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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