My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
