so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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