just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize