Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
