so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
