Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
