You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
