Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
