Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
