Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
