I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
