Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
