Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize