When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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