doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
