Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
