I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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