Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
