good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
