if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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