Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
