did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
