I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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