But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
