Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
