I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
