I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just tell him i said nine months
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
