Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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