I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
