He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
