oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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