I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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