I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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