wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
