Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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