its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
