I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
