can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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