i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
