If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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