Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All the doctor said was why
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
