Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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