I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
