kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
