That's intense
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
