what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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