I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
