idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
