is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I need water and some morals
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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