i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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