no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
A+ Viking dick
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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